On my first, technical, Mother’s Day, I was about 36 weeks pregnant with my daughter. I remember feeling torn between celebrating and not, mostly because I was pretty anxious with my first pregnancy and didn’t want anything to jinx it. My all-knowing husband was aware of my feelings and when I made a passing comment to him as to why he didn’t get me a card he echoed my sentiments to the effect of “I figured you wouldn’t want to celebrate just yet.” To be fair, there was enough celebrating the pending arrival of the first grandchild.
A few weeks after she was born, I remember standing in her room thinking, “No wonder there’s a day to celebrate mothers.” I was exhausted. Worn out. Overwhelmed. Pulled in a million directions. Unsure if what I was doing was right or if I was mucking it all up. Whew. It was a difficult first few months.
Then I thought of the mothers before me who did this all without the technological advancements I have today. Without the internet and its stream of knowledge from people all over the world about essentially every topic. Without the ability to be a text away from their mothers and friends with questions at any time of day. With more things to be worried about (or perhaps not because you don’t know what you don’t know). More kids to keep track of. Those mothers who are without these things even today.
Of course I thought, too, about how I should be nicer to my own mother (not like I’m not nice to her, though, right Mom?) after all of my growing pains she dealt with. Though, as I experience the stages of my own children I am becoming less hard on myself for simply being a child/adolescent but more understanding of what my own mother went through while trying to make sure I had a charmed life. You get what you give, times two, isn’t that how the saying goes? In my case maybe it’s 4x…
Now, almost 4 years later (yet still only my 3rd technical Mother’s Day) I am now a less anxious, more experienced mom of two and I’ve lost that loud nagging voice in my head wondering if I’m doing things wrong. (It’s still there, just quieter and less annoying.) I am much less judgmental of other parents than I was before I was a parent. Now it’s very much the case of hey, whatever works! I am strongly supportive of other mothers and friends (as it should be, we women have to stick together). Overall I know I’ve grown into a better person all because I grew my beautiful babies inside of me. (A shoutout to those who have adopted or used a surrogate as well because we all know the growing isn’t necessarily the hardest part!)
Being a mom is my most wonderful thing. And although there is one specific day to celebrate mothers, it’s something that should be done on a daily basis, because woof. This chosen job can be hard sometimes, despite the rewards. ❤
Happy Mother’s Day!